WHO PUT THE HANDY IN HANDYMAN

One thing I am not, is a handyman. My stepfather could fix everything from my bike to the plumbing in the wall of our bathroom. He rarely had to call anyone to fix anything that broke in our house. My father-in-law is the same way. When he fixes things they stay fixed. He was an engineer for Rocketdyne, so he knows how to put things together. As for me, I don't know which end of a wrench is up. Oh I've tried in the past to fix things, but the end result is always the same, call an expert. I figure there are two kinds of people in this world when it comes to fixing things, thems that can, and thems that can't. Then there are those who fit in between. They have the determination to fix things, but just won't quite go the distance. They are the "Hacks", the "Jerryiggers". They are the ones that won't go to the hardware or the auto parts store. They are the clowns of ingenuity, and use whatever is handy or available, as long as they don't have to leave their property. Beer and chewing tobacco fuel their determination; duct tape and string are their tools. These are the people who put the trash in trailertrash, and looser in - um - well - looser! Here are a few pictures to illustrate my point. My favorite is the guy who wanted to save on heat or electricity in the winter months. Instead of using his heater, or installing one, he hooked up a series of aire ducts to his chimney. A fan was installed in the side of the duct near where the duct and the chimney met. When the fire was lit, he would turn on the fan, which allowed the heated air to travel through the ducts to each room. A couple of filters were installed to minimize the smoke. Another fave is the guy who, instead of fixing his leaky roof, decided to allow the leaking to continue, but rigged up a piping system to redirect the water through the attic and out to the backyard. The entire apparatus looked like somehting from the game MOUSETRAP. The "Most Lazy" handyman award goes to the guy who built a cement wall in the front yard of his house. He just stacked the bags of unopened cement in the form of a wall (with an entry) in front of his house and left it at that. I guess he was just waiting for it to rain, which would help his wall "settle". BRILLIANT! I'm sure we all know at least one of these strange breeds of people. Perhaps the best well known is the guy you see in the mirror every morning.